JUNGLE NEWS
THE END OF EXPLOITATION
Jungle kin hang at the SAFARI NEWSSTAND to pick up snacks, sunscreens, shmooze, and catch up on world news. Human news is definitely less exciting than animal’s!
Elvin swung his trunk in the direction of HUMANE MAGAZINE. “ELEPHANTS, BOARS, RHINOCEROSES, WALRUSES AND THEIR TUSKS ARE PROTECTED! Anyone causing harm or danger will be fined a million dollars with fifty years imprisonment.” ABOUT TIME!!!
Morris bellowed after seeing a copy of JUNGLE HOUSE AND GARDENS, “We won our court case!” “Says here, ANYONE caught with antlers over their mantles will be imprisoned with rock quarry duty for life!”
Rommy told Rodney according to INTERNATIONAL GEOGRAPHICS, rams’ horns are off limits. They cannot be removed while the creature is alive or deceased. This honors its holiness! It is time for people to “wake up” without having to hear a horn!
Randy, hopping ecstatically with excitement: “HARE THIS, HARE THIS, HARE THIS!” No more amputating rabbit’s feet! Rabbits cannot be used for luck, food, clothing, or testing! Bringing harm or death upon these innocent, precious creatures is a crime! Harsh punishment to the perpetrator! RABBITS ARE SAFE!
Purrr, Purrr, Percy is at peace! “Tigers, no longer forced to jump through fiery hoops in circuses!” TAME MAGAZINE announces “All circuses closing! Compassion wins!” “Tigers, lions, elephants, and horses no longer whipped to perform death defying acts, alone, miserable, cooped in small containers!” THE HELL IS OVER!
Oscar’s tentacles, wrapped around FISH AND OCEAN MAGAZINE, bubbled, “Hey, get this! Aquariums goin’ outta business!” “No more sea creatures in captivity.” WE’RE FREE; returned to our homes; we can splash and dance all we want!!!
Rory, roared with laughter! AMAZED! “ZOOSWEEK MAGAZINE: OUT OF BUSINESS!” All zoos closed and nothing left to write about. Animals returned to the JUNGLE..HOME FREE! THE WAY FOR ALL BEINGS TO BE!!!
Primates gathered to celebrate the most awesome event! SPACED OUT MAGAZINE published “NO MORE TEARS – NO MORE FEARS”! “No more space exploration and testing for primates to endure!” THE END TO THEIR MISERY! SWING THROUGH YOUR TREE AS YOU ARE NOW FREE! THIS IS THE WAY FOR ALL CREATURES TO BE!!!